Chinese tariffs have surged to 145%
Chinese tariffs have surged to 145%. In a further escalation, China has just announced it will raise tariffs on U.S. goods from 84% to 125%, effective 12 April. These developments underscore the growing intensity of the trade dispute—yet history shows that a tit-for-tat tariff war helps no one, least of all small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs), who often bear the brunt of rising costs and disrupted supply chains.
To add to the turbulence, reports of insider trading activity in the U.S. have also emerged, injecting further uncertainty into an already volatile landscape
Sigh. Because of course—what else could possibly go wrong? At a very minimum, this is not good for business stability, or, frankly, anyone else’s mental stability.
We’re one spreadsheet crash away from a full existential crisis. The economy’s held together with vibes, duct tape, and three unpaid interns praying to the Google Drive gods.
Every team meeting feels like group therapy with a PowerPoint. We’re “pivoting” so much, we’re basically ballerinas now. And let’s not even talk about morale—it’s somewhere between “burnt toast” and “feral raccoon in a dumpster fire.”
But hey, at least chaos is consistent. Stability is overrated anyway, right? Right?? What's next 200% from the USA...
And if you're looking for an Australian equivalent of a feral raccoon, it would be: Morale is somewhere between “burnt toast” and “a bin chicken fighting a seagull over a chip in the Woolies car park.” It’s like a live-action wildlife documentary, except it’s set in a car park and you can feel the chaos in your bones.
For Canada, though, forget the raccoons for a second. The real threat? The Cobra Bird. Imagine morale as somewhere between “forgotten Timbit crumbs” and “a Cobra Bird swooping in on a stale poutine in the parking lot of a Tim Hortons.” Pure mayhem with a side of syrup. The battle for the last fry never looked so dangerous.